The Holiday Conundrum:
What do you do when Exes make a Comeback?
Author: Farzana Suri, Victory Coach
(Samaj Weekly)- Anna’s day was chugging along like any other during the holiday season – filled with an endless shopping list that seemed to go on forever. Doing all that shopping solo wasn’t exactly lifting her spirits. She emerged from the supermarket, laden with more bags than she could count, and that’s when it happened.
Her phone rang and, in the attempt, to juggle her bags, the phone and a few her bags fell on the pavement. Amid the spilled bags and chaos, she caught a glimpse of the caller ID – it was Ray. Suddenly, her breath became shallow, and her heart started doing somersaults. It had been a whole 10 months since she last saw that name flash on her screen. Now, the big question loomed: What should she do? Answer it and dive back into that chapter of her life, or let it be and carry on with the hard-won balance she had found in her life, of acceptance and moving forward?
Everything is magical in the holiday season – twinkling lights, cosy sweaters, and the sudden reappearance of that ex you thought you had left in the dust? Well, well! It’s like a rom-com plot twist you never saw coming!
The impact of exes making a surprise return during this special season can be a rollercoaster, swinging between the realms of the traumatic and the terrific. It’s like rediscovering a familiar melody in a song – a mix of nostalgia, curiosity, and the potential for a beautiful harmony or an unexpected discord in the symphony of your life. It’s important to acknowledge the emotions they may stir, and so you can handle these encounters with sensitivity and grace.
Is this re-entry an opportunity for rediscovery and reconnection?
If you think about it, there is the upside.
- Nostalgia Overload: Reuniting with your ex has this magical ability to transport you back in time. It’s almost like finding an old photo album filled with memories that makes your heart glow; like sipping hot chai by a cosy fireplace on a frosty winter’s night. It’s a warm yet bittersweet reminder of the shared moments and warmth you once had.
- The Chance to Reignite: A delicate ember of hope persists, reminiscent of the faint twinkle in holiday lights, suggesting the potential for a rekindling of sparks between you and your ex. Maybe you’ll rediscover what brought you together in the first place might illuminate your paths once more, offering a chance to recapture the warmth and connection of the months and years gone by.
- Built-In Plus One: Having your ex reappear can be a silver lining if you are navigating the holidays solo. They can step in as an instant plus-one, sparing you the dreaded “When are you settling down?” interrogation from well-meaning relatives. It’s like having a trusty wing person to glide through those potentially awkward family gatherings and deflect the well-intentioned prying with a wink and a smile.
- Shared Traditions Revived: Reconnecting with your ex during the holidays can rekindle traditions you once enjoyed together. Whether it’s revisiting a favourite Christmas movie or recreating a special recipe, or hanging out with common friends. These shared experiences can reignite a sense of unity and nostalgia that makes the holiday season feel even more meaningful.
And, here is the downside.
- Drama Under the Mistletoe: Exes and drama go together like fruitcake and re-gifting. There’s a good chance that unresolved issues could resurface, and suddenly, your cosy holiday gathering feels more like an episode of a soap opera.
- Ghost of Relationships Past: Just as you were enjoying your newfound freedom, your ex shows up like the Ghost of Christmas Past. Reconnecting with your ex may bring to light painful memories, reminding you of the importance of self-care and setting boundaries during this emotionally charged time.
- Navigating Uncharted Waters: Sometimes, when you and your ex attempt to patch up during the holidays, you may realise that both of you have changed. It’s like trying to fit two puzzle pieces that no longer quite align. While you may hope to rekindle the magic, only to discover just how different you’ve become. And you know what? That’s perfectly okay. It’s a chance to embrace the growth and evolution that life brings. Sometimes, staying separated is the best choice, allowing you both to follow your unique paths and create new, beautiful stories apart.
- Mixed Signals: Having them in your life during the holidays can be a bit of a head-scratcher. Are they looking for a casual chat over dinner or secretly longing to rekindle the sparks of the past? As you wrestle with these mysterious signals, remember that you hold the pen to this chapter. It’s your story, and you have the power to decide whether it’s the time for a heartwarming reunion or a graceful farewell
Ultimately, it’s like standing at a crossroad in your personal holiday journey. You are faced with a choice: whether to embrace your ex’s return into your holiday world with open arms or take a strategic step back.
You might find yourself sharing laughter and sipping hot chai with your ex, or hurriedly making your way through the holiday traffic to protect your newfound peace. Either way, these moments become threads woven into the tapestry of your unique holiday story.
Whatever path you choose, seize the enchantment of this season in a way that fills your heart with pure joy. After all, ’tis the season to be jolly, and your own happiness is the most precious gift you can bestow upon yourself.
Farzana Suri is a Victory Coach is a passionate and experienced life coach who specialises in empowering individuals to unlock their full potential and navigate life’s challenges with confidence. She can be reached on [email protected]
